The Idiot

I walked around today and saw many interesting things. Was watching television and a show called ‘The Bachelorette’ was on. What a strange show! The people are all so in love with each other and kind. Why do they keep crying? They always complement each other and talk about their confidence. I tried having a conversation like this with a homeless man at the bus stop, but he just took a nap mid-tear. 

I watch the ‘Real Housewives’ as well. I wanted to live like these people, so I invited a bunch of housewives over to my house for wine and cake. I started talking crap on all the people that weren’t there, but everyone just got really mad at me. They liked the wine though, and the food. They drank and ate all of it and looked really happy. A little too happy, so I made like my heroines and threw a wine glass at one of them then pulled out a lot of her hair. 

They just called the cops and their was this big ordeal, and none of them came over the next time I asked.

Was watching ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ and made it my goal to keep up. I sat around all day and talked about all my relationships with my cat. The cat meowed, and I pet it longingly. At night I decided to go out, and fist pumped my arms into the air when I entered the club. After I entered the club, they kicked me out.

I still want to be a Kardashian though, so I am going to keep trying.

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