Relationship Quiz

This quiz is to test if you’re really with the right one. If you are not in a relationship, please do not bother taking this test, because clearly nobody loves you and you’re not good at anything plus you really suck at life and your really ugly and yes, we all noticed how damp your armpits get on those days you forget to put deodorant on.

Now, for the quiz.

1.) Does your partner fulfill all of your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs?

2.) When you and your partner are out together, is it easy for you to ignore all the other attractives in the room, and stay focused on your partner?

3.) Does your partner care enough for your feelings to never ‘check out’ other attractives when they pass?

4.) Is it fair to say you’ve never even considered the thought of being with another?

5.) When you are having a bad day, is your partner able to fix all your problems all the time?

6.) When your relationship is fine, is it… really?

7.) Can you comfortably say that your partner is the only one you ever want to be around for the rest of your life?

If you answered no to one or more of the previous questions, it means that your partner is not God, you are not God, and you are indeed in a human relationship. Next time you find yourself bitching about your loved one, look around you, and realize that everyone else does the exact same thing, so that terrible person who tricked you into loving them is just as much a son-of-a-bitch as that fantasy mate who treats you so kindly now. Oh, they’re a fantasy now, but wait until you have them. They fart and complain just as much as the one you are currently with.

If you answered yes to one or more of the questions, go fuck yourself, because you found the gold-nugget relationship, which should only belong to Jim and Pam of the Office before the final two seasons.

Instead of getting divorced, maybe you should stop wasting time on stupid relationship quizzes and realize a person’s a person and an ideal’s an ideal.

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