Man Up App.

I’m working with the top scientists in the world to create a ‘Man Up’ app. Here is how it will work.

Picture this – You’re sitting there, a cute girl is staring at you from across the way. You sort of want to approach her, but you don’t know what to say, and you’re getting kind of nervous. ‘What should I do?’ you ask yourself.

Well, from now on, you’re not going to be asking yourself that question. You’re going to be asking my Man Up App!

You: “Man Up, there is a cute girl over there, but I’m sort of nervous and I’m not exactly the type to just go up to someone and start talking. What should I do?

Man Up: Get off your ass, go over there, and start talking.

You: But what will I say?

Man Up: Stand the fuck up, right now. Walk over there, talk.

You: But what-

Man Up: DO IT!

That’s just one of the many situations you will get helpful advice. Here’s another one – You’re in the bar, all the fellas are drinking, but your tummy kind of hurts and you can’t handle another drink.

You: Man up, I have a tummy ache. Should I take this shot?

Man Up: If you do not take this shot, I will find the phone number in this phone of that guy you know with anger issues, text him terrible things, and he will literally come down here and shoot you in the gut.

You: But-

Man Up: DO IT!

And then, who could forget the classic, ‘Should I kiss her or not?’ This one is specifically geared for young men new to the dating world.

This particular App. features a self-activating tool, where it can sense the jitters in your pants. So, when the end of the date comes, and you’re standing there with your hands in your pockets, shaking with fear, the App. will automatically give you advice! You don’t even have to ask it too!

Man Up: Kiss her. Go in for it. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Go in. Now. Do it. Do it. F-U-C-K-I-N-G DO IT!

And then, as an added bonus, I’ve created a specific tool that alerts you when you score. At the moment of climax, when the tensions at its greatest, Man Up let’s you know how you are doing.

Man Up: Do it. Do it. Do it. Harder. Faster. Longer. Do it. Do it. Do it. GO GO GO GO GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

Man Up – soon to yell at a man near you.


2 thoughts on “Man Up App.

  1. Can’t say I need this app, but fuck it sounds awesome. It has to announce all those things through the speakers, so the user is pressured to act or suffer the embarrassment of being hazed by his own phone.

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