Are you tired of karate being mere practice? Don’t you wish you could use your killer hand chop in real life situations, rather than waiting to get mugged or robbed? Well at McWatty9’s ‘Trae-Tu-Keel’, we teach karate in a little… different way.
You see, my philosophy for fighting originated one day when I realized random purse attacks hardly ever happen. While other facilities teach self-defense, I teach preemptive-strikes.
It works like this – imagine you’re walking down the street, and someone looks at you the wrong way. Well you just walk up and karate chop ’em! Sounds like fun, right? It is!
Here at McWatty9’s proactive karate, we teach the art of screaming ‘Hi-ya!’ every time you hit, and have such long formulas for fighting, that you will feel like you’re playing a chess match even when you are getting your ass kicked!
We don’t study ancient Japanese fighting techniques. In fact, we don’t really study anything at all. We all gather ’round with a big ol’ bowl a popcorn, and watch Jackie Chan films until the idea of fighting off a swarm of bad guys starts to seem realistic!
Then, we try to learn the moves. There’s the ladder moves, the spinning kicks, the double spin kicks, and the double double spin spins. For firm wrist strikes, I teach the one where your arm moves horizontally, and then the one where it moves from up to down.
We employ all the famous sound effects when we practice, including the, ‘Pssh!’ and the ‘Poosh!’ and, for the ladies, the, ‘Eughmph!’
That’s right folks, come on down to McWatty9’s proactive karate if you want to feel like your tough and make fighting harder than it already is.
*Any and all of these techniques will work in real life movie fighting sequences.