Paintball Go Carts

Yes. That’s right. Just did it. Here is how it went.

Long, spiraling track. Go-carts traveling at a steady 15 miles an hour. Mine was a lambo-cart, and so I got to go a hundred and twenty. Yeah, that’s right, a fuckin’ lambo.

Over my right shoulder I carry an assault paintball shooter, over my left a bazooka paint bucket blaster. Blowin’ kids up, left and right. Mom and dads whining, little kids crying, employees hollering.

Oh yeah, that’s right. It wasn’t actually called paintball go-carts. I just brought my own.

Anyways, I’m splattering these shit heads left and right, just absolutely demolishing everything in sight. The pavement track, the rubber tires, and that idiot who bought a house right next to an amusement park! What an idiot!

So there I am, fuckin’ crushing shit. Just wrecking everything, parents, clowns in the distance. Bam Bam Bam!

Cars in the parking lot, helicopters in the air, parachuting special operatives, until, finally, this kid comes out of nowhere!

And, can you believe this, he fuckin’ fish-tails me! “Are you kidding me?” I shout, before calling for an employee and pointing aggressively at him. Then, turning to the kid, “Didn’t you read the rules? No bumping other carts, dude.’

And that was when the cops arrived, and placed me under arrest. They didn’t even bother with that lousy punk. Makes me wonder if anybody cares about the rules anymore, it really makes me wonder…

Did you know? If you actually try this you are a fucking idiot and deserve to go to jail and get your ass kicked.

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