This just in – McWatty9 has zero views at this hour. We are two hours into the new wordpress day, a timezone which is based on Matt Mullenweg’s surf schedule, and has nothing at all to do with the sun or any actual timezone.
The results are still preliminary, but after a local survey with ‘The Watties’ here is what they had to say –
“McWatty9 is going downhill. His stats are plummeting, his genre is reckless, I am getting out NOW,” – top three commenter, chose to remain anonymous.
“Ah. For God’s sake. Stop bringing me into this blog. I don’t know what a McWatt is. You made fun of me last time so please just go away.” – That one guy from India who once mis-clicked onto my site.
“Mcwatty9? Oh, you shouldn’t worry about him! He’ll be fine. He is smart and funny, Oh-hoh-ho!” – King Everything Iz Great, United Kingdom
“Well, we were considering liking him, but then we saw some of his older posts, and decided we can’t just let any buffoon into our club. I say, no.” – sophisticated poet society
Well folks, you’ve heard the verdict – McWatty9, thought earlier this week to be ‘blowing up’, is now on the down and out. What was it that killed this once reputable blogger? What was it that brought his followers to such dismay? Many believe it was his recent venture into poetry, some say it was his posted thoughts on faith, and others believe the public simply had enough of his antics. But the facts are simple – the number of Watties are plummeting, and many fear McWatty9, or, ‘The Immature Humorist’, as the Laugh Track Times recently coined him, is diminishing in the polls. We will have an update later in the day, roughly around the hour Matt Mullenweg decided the universal day should end. Until then, keep staring at this screen and waiting for then to come.