Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

The crack in the cracked glass vial in the alleyway was seeping out a strange green ooze. There was nothing natural about it.

Hamato Yoshi slid his finger along the vial and sniffed it. “Hmm.”

“Whachu got there?” Said Shredder.

“I don’t know.” Hamato shrugged. “It’s like slime.”

“I hate turtles and ninjas,” said Shredder. “And my karate master Oroku Saki wants to kill you, by the way.”

“Good to know,” responded Hamato.

The two continued on together, whistling as they walked. As they did, Tom noticed his hand began to pulsate, rhythmically at first, before soon his hand was swelling up to the size of a pillow.

“Whoa,” said Shredder, “Cowabunga dude, your hand is getting gi-normous!”

Hamato was not sharing in Shredder’s enthusiasm. “This isn’t funny, Shredder. What the heck is-” Before he could even finish what he was saying, his forearm enlarged, followed shortly afterward by a rapid growth in the rest of his body.

Moments later, Himato was literally a walking giant.

“Man!” Yelled Shredder. “I hate the artists of the renaissance, maybe that’s why my name is shredder, so I can ruin masterful paintings. Do you think?”

Hamato Yoshi set his hands on his hips and bellowed out a laughter of hilarity. “You know what I’m going to do, shredder?”

“What?” replied Shredder.

Hamato Yoshi, pinched a cheese grader between his thumb and forefinger. He slammed it into Shredder’s face, and it stuck for good. Hamato laughed all the louder. “I’m going to train my rat splinter on how to do karate, and then I’m gonna feed him that green shit, and then he’s gonna train a bunch of turtles, and then they’re all going to kick your ass. HAHAHA!”

Shredder shook his head and cried. “I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life and I’ll do whatever it takes to disrupt those turtles in their mission to do good.”

“Well they’re going to be teenagers, also.”

“So?”

“So suck-it, shredder.”

THE END!

– Thomas M. Watt

Evelynn

Evelynn has apple-green eyes and a perfect figure. She causes Adam to lose his breath at first sight, and affects him to such a degree he becomes reckless in his pursuit to court her. Curiously, she looks outstandingly similar to ‘Hope Iden’, the star actress in Gnashing’s biggest play. Benny and Crank, however, insist that Evelynn and Hope Iden are not the same person.

To learn more about my novel, “Way of the World,” feel free to visit my website at http://www.thomasmwatt.com

Dangling From the Empire State Building, David opened his eyes…

Dangling From the Empire State Building, David opened his eyes. His feet were bound by the rope, and his freezing face was being slapped by the cold wind. Down below, the tourist were all pointing at him, undoubtedly wondering if he was a man or a new flag.

“Dammit!” Screamed David. He regretted everything at that point. The bets, the women, the drug orgies. He hated himself for it.

He suddenly dropped a few inches. When David looked up, he realized the rope was already tearing. His wrists were tied up behind his back. He had to get out. He had to break free.

Though his life was nearing an end, the knowledge of his past mistakes were stabbing at him relentlessly. As he pulled with all his might to break his wrists apart, his mind kept replaying the doggie-orgies he used to watch while taking diet-pills with all those scandalous house-wives. He never should have bet on Coco the weiner dog. It just wasn’t realistic to believe it could ‘do it’ with a grey hound.

“Argh!” David screamed, just as he managed to break his wrists out from behind his back. He tugged the rope at his feet, broke it off from the rest of the line, then fell with his arms raised in triumph before splattering on the pavement down below, splashing all the onlookers with a wave of his blood.

THE END!

– Thomas M. Watt