Dangling From the Empire State Building, David opened his eyes. His feet were bound by the rope, and his freezing face was being slapped by the cold wind. Down below, the tourist were all pointing at him, undoubtedly wondering if he was a man or a new flag.
“Dammit!” Screamed David. He regretted everything at that point. The bets, the women, the drug orgies. He hated himself for it.
He suddenly dropped a few inches. When David looked up, he realized the rope was already tearing. His wrists were tied up behind his back. He had to get out. He had to break free.
Though his life was nearing an end, the knowledge of his past mistakes were stabbing at him relentlessly. As he pulled with all his might to break his wrists apart, his mind kept replaying the doggie-orgies he used to watch while taking diet-pills with all those scandalous house-wives. He never should have bet on Coco the weiner dog. It just wasn’t realistic to believe it could ‘do it’ with a grey hound.
“Argh!” David screamed, just as he managed to break his wrists out from behind his back. He tugged the rope at his feet, broke it off from the rest of the line, then fell with his arms raised in triumph before splattering on the pavement down below, splashing all the onlookers with a wave of his blood.
THE END!
– Thomas M. Watt
Thomas M. Watt 
hahaha, ridiculous and brilliant. Even though my eyes are tired with no sleep, they form puffy slits of glee at the joy of your words.
Haha, thank your kindness and the vivid metaphor which came along with it.