On the Modern Pertinence of Etiquette in the, “Den for Story Makers and Takers”

I remember when I was a child and the big joke in the library was to mock the angry librarian who hissed and insisted any noise-makers to quiet. Now an author struggling to become a money-making-published-word-carver, I do much of my editing in the quiet dwelling place of the bookman’s abode.

Unfortunately, there are still people, even my own age, who enjoy friendly stories and over-pompous smiles in this same place a modest author would just call a library, but a snob would call a ‘den for story-makers and takers.’

I cannot comprehend what comes over a person to fully engage in a conversation inside a library. I can see there are times we run into friends and are at the very least required to say, “Hello, How are you? – Me, I’m good. – Oh really! – Alright see you later.”

Anything more than that is unnecessary and rude. Oh, what’s that?? I’m being a prick for telling you to quiet when you feel like talking to your friend? Ah, I’m sorry, my mistake.

Please-shut-the-fuck-up and go pretend you’re cool somewhere else.

I don’t come to the library to look cool or impress anyone. I come to the library to get work done, and I’m pretty sure everyone else does, too. Even those pretty girls you see getting really drunk on Friday nights who accentuate  the ‘s’ sound at the end of every word they can possibly fit it into.

Yes, those girls.

So in conclusion, I would like to formerly invite that old, bead-chained-glasses wearing old strict ‘hag’ back to her place of work. We need you, I can’t take any more of these smiling ‘librarian’ good-for-nothings who leave me to do all the quieting for my pencil-pushing amigos.

If you like to talk when you are in the library,

You can suck-it.

– Thomas M. Watt

Wild John

We don’t get to meet Wild John until nearing the end of, “Way of the World,” but he is an intriguing character, to say the least. Michael meets John in the middle of the desert, and the stubbly-bearded man is wearing no clothes.

That’s right, he’s absolutely naked.

Michael inquires as to why, and the response strangely alludes to his connection with divine forces. Wild John goes on to say Michael is ‘from above’, to which Michael dismisses quite easily.

Obviously, being a ruthless murderer throughout his childhood makes it easy for Michael to be know that he is no angel.

Wild John leaves Michael with the curious words, “I have to make straight the way for the promise.”

Michael shrugs, and leaves the naked man with a potato sack to use for some pants.

To find out more about my novel, “Way of the World,” or to view illustrations, paintings and excerpts, feel free to check out my website at http://www.thomasmwatt.com

The Far Distant Future – Twenty-First Century Observations

“There once was this box,” began the kindergarten teacher. “It was just an ordinary thing, with flashing lights and the ability to create its own noises and sounds. But this box had other powers, as well. Powers common folk weren’t even aware of. It could make them afraid or angry. Worried and upset. Erotic or useless.”

“What’s erotic mean?” Said little Samantha.

“Oh! I shouldn’t have said that.” The kindergarten teacher giggled, then went on. “But of all the feelings sent out from the box, their were the important few which it did not omit – it never sent out any peace, nor did it help one to grow, nor did it issue the emotion of love.

‘Yet still, despite this box’s lack of offering anything meaningful to humanity, the entire world embraced it. Children grew up getting to know the box better than any of their friends. Opinions issued from the box were deemed more important than the people it was supposed to be serving.

‘Though it became clear that the box was no longer a product for entertainment, but for thoughtless slavery, none seemed to care. In fact, rather than fight the effects of ‘feeling induced addiction’, the entire civilization took to studying it, in order to set up and launch something called ‘marketing campaigns’. Believe it or not, children, the humans themselves were responsible for building their own bug zapper!”

“But why?” Little Timmy asked. “Why did they prefer the box to human interaction?”

The kindergarten teacher laughed. “Because, little Timmy.” She shook her head. “They thought their brothers to be their enemies, and the box to be their friend.”

– Thomas M. Watt