Eternal Stagnation – 6/26/20


I swear that sock on the ground makes the whole room look 10X more sloppy

I’ve been stuck for a while. I’ve been lazy, weak, and mostly apathetic.

I have a one track mind and an extraordinarily difficult time focusing on tasks that are unrelated. My girlfriend and I have been actively searching for a new place to live for the past month. Finding the right location, price, and environment has proved an unrewarding and unending quest. I knew that if I began filming episode 4 before we made our decision I would get too distracted from this endeavor, so I put the project on hold. But according to my most recent findings, we won’t be able to move in to a decent apartment until August.

Another obstacle for me has been participation – I desperately want to begin making short films with real actors – people who show up, know their lines, and are inherently excited to be a part of the project. But to get real actors I have to market myself as a professional and reach out through some kind of casting website. Maybe even offer a daily pay rate.

So I signed up for Actors Access. I’m still not ready to cast any roles, so in the meantime I’m offering up my own acting services and submitting for some auditions. I’m hoping to work with other low budget creators and find out if they’d be willing to collaborate in my own projects. I don’t mind working for free.

But another item that has been at the forefront of my mind is money. I work a full time job that pays good enough. But I truly believe getting paid for your creative work is a huge separator between a hobbyist and a professional. I want to find ways to make money in this field. The major motivating factor for me is any funds I make doing film related work can then be dumped back into future projects. For example, a lot of roles on Actors Access pay $100-$200 a day. If I can get a role that pays $200, I could afford to pay 4 actors $50 each for my own low budget production. A more accessible way for me to make money would be to build film dollies that I sell for $100. I could sell them on Craigslist to start.

The third and final way that I’m giving serious consideration is short stories.  I could write 30 page stories and sell them on amazon for $1 each. I think that’s a worthy value and would be much less time consuming than self publishing a 350 page novel that sells for $2.99.

Anyways, these are my thoughts. I’m trying hard to get off my ass and create again. I’ve been consumed with work and picking up extra shifts. It’s funny, making money really isn’t that difficult if you make it your number one goal. But then, as I’ve found over the past month, you begin trading your time away. Time is really all we have here.

In all the hours that I’ve worked, I’ve never left with the high that comes from diving into the thick of an intuitive plot development, or finding a new chord progression on my guitar, or even editing a sequence for a short film. I guess what I’m saying is you suffer daily to buy yourself time to do what you want to do. We each choose how we spend our time and money, but somewhere in that freedom to choose there is a call to action. I think I’ve missed that call too many times too count, so this time I’m going to answer.

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