The Man at the Table

Good morning & yes I’m still alive. If you’ve been following me you already know that I set out to make a short film this year. I began filming it then abruptly stopped posting. I stopped making youtube videos, updating my wordpress, and generalized contact with the outside world. I have been working and editing. Lol I think it would be difficult to count the number of days I have pissed away alone at a computer desk. And the empty hum of such destitute isolation is quite honestly more seductive to me than I care to admit.

But you also remember this was part of the plan. Marketing a film/book/product prior to its release is of enormous importance. However, I am more of a sculptor than a salesman, so at the end of the day I sleep better crafting a quality product for one person than a fat-burning snake oil for thousands. In other words, I made a conscientious decision to retain an extra hour of my day for editing rather than any form of marketing.

You are more important than all the advice, judgment, and perception you’ve ever been subject to. Not your well being, nor your ability, but you as a person with a heart, soul, and mind. It may seem like apples and oranges but it is an imperative realization to arrive at.

Let’s say you have a goal – to create a board game that teaches the value of critical thinking. You fall in love with the idea and make flash cards that vary amongst accepted social opinions, the propaganda spooned by the government, and the advice of a drunk uncle. Your game piece – a marble – must make decisions regarding the information they accept and thereby choose the tubing they will roll through. The secret to winning the game is to have the most marbles arrive at a slot on the game board where they are anointed as a person with influence; or permitted to have an impact on the information in this fictional world.

As you’re developing this game you discover that party games that encourage are among the top selling. You also discover that the more pieces, cards, and side instruments required for your game rapidly add to its cost to produce, thereby decreasing your anticipated rate of income by forcing you to sell at a price above market value.

Every time you expose your idea to other professionals, they will regurgitate the available figures that suggest your game will appeal to a limited market. As you learn about packaging costs you will be bombarded with figures you cannot match. Your friends and family will observe you laughing like the Penguin from the old Batman as you roll marbles for hours and stage an intervention.

So what do you do? Do you alter your initial vision to match the demands of gameboard development, or do you push onward like a moron and convince yourself that this idea will work?

I believe in truth, above all other things. I believe there is an innate truth that is invisible, indestructible, and undeniable. The truth itself is a guiding light to provide a course through any valley of shadows. And the truth in this analogy is the game developer did not set out to make the most popular game, nor the most profitable one. They set out to create a game that teaches an individual the importance of filtering through conflicting information. Once that fundamental concept is removed or watered down the game developer’s passion will die. The further steps will cease to matter.

When you choose to create, build, or develop something, you must accept the responsibility of your pursuit. You will decide which information is relevant to your cause and which information can be cast aside. It is neither a direct nor inverse relationship. The path of success is not restricted by imaginary rules and absolutes. Your own efforts have the power to bend these rules so hard in the other direction that the same sages who today preach that each game must involve playing cards and a dirty joke will one day rebuke a new generation of game developers who attempt to include them.

A belief in an unseen truth is a belief in the existence of good. If you make something that is good, others will recognize it – regardless of their ability to quantiate it.

By now you may be thinking to yourself, “What the fuck is this guy talking about.” That’s fine.

The reason I bring all this up is because I have invested enormous effort in shaping my product to be the best it can be. I have not been racing to meet deadlines for film festivals nor have I launched the kickstarter campaign that I was hoping to introduce months ago. I have not told a story that appeals strongly to a certain market, I have not cast actors with the belief that there popularity will propel the film to a greater viewership.

I set out to tell a good story. I set out to deliver good audio. I set out to compose good music. It is the only guiding light I use and delivers the spiritual food necessary to keep my soul from utter disparagement and defeat.

There is a man hunching over a table who organizes every name on earth into separate categories. He reaches into a basket, pulls out a name, and searches for the bowl that is filled with the thousands of others who morphed into the same body of artificiality and commercial appeal. When he pulls up your name, make that motherfucker craft a new bowl.

In other news, I have completed the first draft of the film. Its got a 30 minute run time. I still have more work to do, but the changes left to make or all surface level and small. I hope to update my progress here soon.