Running Blind

For months and months been on the run,

Had myself a bit of fun.

Tore down all my truths of old,

Replaced them with some sins so bold.

In the flesh I did reside,

The more you sin the more you die.

It eases e-motional pain,

Sin enough you’ll feel no shame.

But go on you’ll find some trouble,

And when then comes your pride will double.

So sure I was of Christ’s untruth,

I laughed at Christians on youtube.

Dumb it seemed that some believed,

One man could replace our primal needs.

Sacrifice, deny yourself, worry not, you won’t see Hell.

Hahaha, haha, hehe, the things he speaks of I won’t take heed.

For I was sure that I knew better, that heavenly things were not too clever.

Dumb it was to live this life thinking one day you’ll see the light.

What light, what proof, what evidence? Where is this God that some still seek?

Nowhere, nowhere, He goes unseen, but this God of light lets blind men see.

For you see I came to truth – that evil exists, and me it used.

Day by day I could not rest, could not stop sin, did not repent.

But when I prayed my heart did open, God returned, covenant He honored.

Showed me to the days of old, when we were close and I wasn’t so cold.

Amazing how when there’s no evil, you find your own evil has doubled.

But after mocking God is through, and your world has fallen through,

And you’re sure you have no chance, that you have tripped on your last dance,

And of good feelings there’s none left, no way this life holds hope; you’re doomed.

That’s when I think it’s time to pray, and if you listen, you’ll know why I say –

That God who lives up high above, that God who you so boldly told –

That with all your heart you don’t believe, who you once deemed a mental disease,

That same God you went against, He will still be there when you’re on the fence,

And it won’t be long before you see, that God so loves you, He’s all you need.

– Thomas M. Watt

Let me Explain…

Ok. After surgery yesterday all was well. In fact, thanks to my prescription of Oxycontin and a number of other drugs, life couldn’t have been better. I just finished typing up a rambling blog post and was sitting back to enjoy, “Now you see me,” when I realized something –

I couldn’t move my left hand. It was dead to the touch hours after surgery. I tried to wiggle my fingers, but none would budge.

After dialing several random numbers of friends who couldn’t help even if they wanted, I tore outside, wearing half-a-shirt and some pajama pants.

To put it simply, I was freaking out. Man.

I pounded on my neighbor’s door, continuing well after he’d spotted me through the window and was fast already approaching. I told him about my hand, asking if it was normal (Don’t you love asking questions when you’re panicking?).

He got his shoes on and we were readying to go to the E.R. when I was reminded there was an on-call number to dial. I called it, and shortly discovered that my symptoms were completely normal. I had received a nerve block, which apparently blocks your nerves from working… for a temporary amount of time.

I spent the next ten minutes sitting on my couch sweating profusely and breathing heavily. Hysteria is not so fun when you are high on drugs.

The Walls before Us

A man with grass stains on his jeans and blisters on his hands fell down on the pavement. He hardly managed to catch himself, and even after he did, he dropped himself back down and sprawled his limbs flat to the black concrete anyways.

He remained there, lying face down, until a hand finally took hold of his. He looked up and saw the silhouette of a brown, curly head of hair.

“What do you want?” He said to her.

She chuckled. “I want to help you.”

The man used his hand as a visor to guard the intense rays of the sun, and her face finally came into view. She had thin lips, brown hair, and the sexiest hazel eyes he’d ever seen.

The man groaned as he returned to his feet. He brushed his jeans off. “Why do you want to help me? Nobody wants to help me.”

She smiled sweetly. “I want to help you because you are so close to victory and you don’t even realize it.”

The man grumbled again. “You’re outta your mind lady. I’m not close and I never was, neither.”

She laughed, and the two started walking together.

“Why can’t you see?” She said.

“What?” He returned, pressing his left eyelids nearly closed.

“Why are you so blind?”

“Blind! Lady you got no idea the problems I’m dealing with!”

She stopped him, put her hands on his shoulders, then stared directly into his eyes as she spoke. “And how many times before have you encountered a scenario you were certain could not be overcome? How many times before did you think you were finished, only to live on? Things are not as they appear. There is a way to victory, I promise you that.”

“Why? How?” He said at once.

She smiled sweetly. “Are you so lost? The why and how does not matter. What matters is that you go on in the belief that there is a way.”

The man shook his head, scoffed, then looked away. “Yeah, well… How am I supposed ta-” He began, before suddenly catching himself after looking back.

The lady was gone.

I never did a single thing in my life I didn’t at first believe could be done. And I never heard an interview where the person being questioned looked lost, out of place, and had no idea how they randomly wound up succeeding. Happy 100th post Wattie nation. When all hope is lost, place your belief in what is above finding you a way out. Watch what happens.

– Thomas M. Watt

Good Night to Troubles

Good night to you it’s time to sleep,

Let it go the night is weak,

And in tomorrow morning’s wake,

Consult your troubles and let them take,

You around just for a spin,

For from searching answers will brim.

Let it rest your weary head,

Take some sleep and let dread bed.

Do not worry any longer, do not cry to trouble’s squander.

Let it go just lay to rest, let the breaths all soothe your chest.

All past troubles are behind us, for the future let these remind us.

That in all of struggle’s plight, we seek what’s good and do what’s right.

Do not fear the mess you have gotten, do not stray from good paths trodden.

Let no fight be in dismay, fear no evil it’s soul’s decay.

Believe in God and you shall see,

Trouble’s die when you live with He.

– Thomas M. Watt