The Price of Penalization

She bundled herself up under the blankets. “I don’t want to do it. Please let me leave.”

“Stephanie,” he said. “You pay the consequences if you don’t. He gave you the role, now hold up your end.”

“I didn’t know what he meant!” she said, rubbing a small fist into her eye. “I thought it was a joke. He shouldn’t have laughed if it wasn’t a joke.”

“Well it’s too late. Harry’s waiting outside. You’ll never get a part again if you back out. This is your life, your dream.”

“Exactly. It’s my life. My dream. My decision.”

He scoffed as he set his hands to his hips. “You realize he’s not gonna let you walk without a fight, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, as long as you know.” He exited the trailer.

She opened the blanket just enough to make sure. The knife was still there.

Harry entered the room, and undid his belt-buckle. “Alright, you agreed to this.”

“I asked to be an actress, not a whore.”

“One in the same baby doll.” He laughed, unzipped his jeans, and dropped them to his ankles. “Open wide.”

She smiled.

“What?”

“That’s what they’ll be saying to you from now on.”

“Huh?”

She pulled out the knife, squeezed his dick with one hand, and sliced it off with the knife in the other.

– Thomas M. Watt

What do I make of these comments?

  1. So I just read the comments to my latest short story, and here is what I got. Not really certain how a blogger is supposed to respond to this, let alone interpret what it all means. 
     
    1. Tricks R. Forkids says:

    But he didn’t touch her, see her or call her again so why is he about to be killed? DONT KILL HIM!!!!! NO!!!!!

    • He’s referring to me Tricks. Now off I go, 3 hops I must take, let’s hope I don’t fall in the lake!

McWatty9 Interview

Hello everybody, my name is Thomas M. Watt, established poet, and eloquent novelist. I am sitting alongside McWatty9 today, who was supposed to hold a press conference and answer many questions in regard to the state of Wattie nation. Unfortunately, ‘The Watties’ appear very weak at this point, and issued no questions themselves. Therefore, I have chosen to interview the infamous McWatty9 myself. Let us begin.

Thomas M. Watt – McWatty9, I would first like to thank you for joining me today, and would like to congratulate you on bringing multiple bloggers to laugh quite hysterically at some of your recent posts.

McWatty9 – Yeah well I don’t have shit to do tonight so it’s really not that big of a deal. But the bloggers who laughed hard weren’t just normal bloggers Tommy boy, they were actually hot girls.

Thomas M. Watt – Oh, well… that’s good to know. So McWatty9, where do you get the ideas for your skits? I mean, some of them are very creative.

McWatty9 – Well Tommy, I’ll tell you. Often times when I’m breathing, I like to think. Sometimes when I think, I get these… ideas. And then I write them down.

Thomas M. Watt – Haha. No doubt this is a taste of your sarcasm?

McWatty9 – No. Is there a different way or something?

Thomas M. Watt – Well, I don’t know, you just state things so plainly. Moving on, there was a blog you posted earlier this week pertaining to paintball guns and go carts. By the name of several of your tags, you seemed to be ashamed of the posting. Why?

McWatty9 – Well, you see Tommy boy, a lot of times when you outline dumbass shit for people to do, several dipshits actually go out and try it.

Thomas M. Watt – Oh?

McWatty9 – Yeah, it’s true.

Thomas M. Watt – Interesting, to say the least. Holding your press conference last night, did you ever think you might be better off hiding your level of intoxication, rather than making it so apparent to the public?

McWatty9 – No Tommy.

Thomas M. Watt – Why not?

McWatty9 – Because I was fucked up. In fact, often times when I drink, I do many things that at the time seem like a good idea, and then wake up and realize they weren’t such a good idea.

Thomas M. Watt – Oh? Care to elaborate?

McWatty9 – Sure. Often times, I enjoy approaching woman and doing such things as hitting on them, flirting with them, and then thinking up various techniques to take them to the sack.

Thomas M. Watt – Oh?

McWatty9 – Yes. You see, this strange feeling comes over me, and it launches me into predatorily mode. I look around the room for strictly the most good looking of the bunch, then I approach them, and then I talk to them, and then I buy them a drink.

Thomas M. Watt – And how does this ‘technique’ work out for you?

McWatty9 – It really depends, you know.

Thomas M. Watt – Depends on what?

McWatty9 – How long I am willing to pretend like I’m still interested. The funniest thing happens, where the skanks I court begin to disgust me, because I realize that, at times, I’m not actually talking to a person, but a walking manual for what someone should act like in a social setting.

Thomas M. Watt – Hmm. Do go on.

McWatty9 – Well, there seems to be this personality type that ninety percent or more of the population strives to pretend to be. Upon realizing I’ve met another clone, even in my fucked-up-ness, I realize I still have no interest in dating a picture cut out from a magazine.

Thomas M. Watt – Really?

McWatty9 – Yes. Usually, my courting lasts up until I begin to make sarcastic remarks in response to the skank’s preference to appear as something more than she is. That seems to be the end for me, as I can only kiss an ass so many times, before my lips can no longer move, and my ears begin to burn with every word I hear.

Thomas M. Watt – Don’t you think such a view is somewhat sexist?

McWatty9 – Not really. Skankism is a disease Tom, not a gender type. Are you sexist?

Thomas M. Watt – I write poetry.

McWatty9 – Oh, right. You’re like that weirdo in the corner waiting by the ladies room.

Thomas M. Watt – What? No. That’s a terrible accusation.

McWatty9 – It’s not an accusation Tommy boy, it’s an assumption. Only creeps write poems.

Thomas M. Watt – You are beginning to offend me, McWatty9.

McWatty9 – Oh, well… Sorry.

Thomas M. Watt – It’s alright, I understand you enjoy making people laugh.

McWatty9 – Yes, and you enjoy creeping on woman because you are a pervert. We each have our own ways.

Thomas M. Watt – I’m beginning to dislike you the more I get to know you.

McWatty9 – And I’m beginning to think you’re a bit of a pussy.

Thomas M. Watt – McWatty9, I’m not going to empower you by responding to that. This interview is over.

McWatty9 – Tommy boy, I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean that seriously.

Thomas M. Watt – Ha, well, I can never quite tell with you McWatty9. Thanks for coming today.

(Handshake)

McWatty9 – And thanks for making a joke about ejaculation to finish it you perverted creep.

Paintball Go Carts

Yes. That’s right. Just did it. Here is how it went.

Long, spiraling track. Go-carts traveling at a steady 15 miles an hour. Mine was a lambo-cart, and so I got to go a hundred and twenty. Yeah, that’s right, a fuckin’ lambo.

Over my right shoulder I carry an assault paintball shooter, over my left a bazooka paint bucket blaster. Blowin’ kids up, left and right. Mom and dads whining, little kids crying, employees hollering.

Oh yeah, that’s right. It wasn’t actually called paintball go-carts. I just brought my own.

Anyways, I’m splattering these shit heads left and right, just absolutely demolishing everything in sight. The pavement track, the rubber tires, and that idiot who bought a house right next to an amusement park! What an idiot!

So there I am, fuckin’ crushing shit. Just wrecking everything, parents, clowns in the distance. Bam Bam Bam!

Cars in the parking lot, helicopters in the air, parachuting special operatives, until, finally, this kid comes out of nowhere!

And, can you believe this, he fuckin’ fish-tails me! “Are you kidding me?” I shout, before calling for an employee and pointing aggressively at him. Then, turning to the kid, “Didn’t you read the rules? No bumping other carts, dude.’

And that was when the cops arrived, and placed me under arrest. They didn’t even bother with that lousy punk. Makes me wonder if anybody cares about the rules anymore, it really makes me wonder…

Did you know? If you actually try this you are a fucking idiot and deserve to go to jail and get your ass kicked.