Hello to You

Hello to you with silent breath,

I hear your thoughts and struggled quest.

I’m sorry if you feel so bad. I’m sorry if you don’t feel glad.

I’m sorry if you feel so empty. I’m sorry if your dreams are heavy.

I’m sorry that you hate hope too. I’m sorry that depresses you.

I’m sorry if things didn’t work out. I’m sorry if the time ran out.

I’m sorry if you waste the days, waiting for grey clouds to rain.

I’m sorry if you feel alone. Sorry if you hate your phone.

Sorry if you’ve been betrayed, felt a loss, called deranged.

But there’s not much that I can do, except to say I’ve felt that too.

And when we breath with heavy chests with thoughts of lonely and great unrest,

And when we suck and can’t do shit and all is wrong and life’s a bitch,

That’s when you need to stand and say, “There’s still a chance, so fuck the grey.”

Because from deep anguish your heart rises, from great loss new hope surmises.

From your hatred of yourself, from your knowledge of no help, 

Comes a force from deep within, it helps you out, it’s why you’ll win.

For what more can they say to you, when you’ve lost all yet pulled on through?

You will win and shout and say, “I felt the loss, I did decay, I was depressed, I did delay. But then one day I stood and saw, a heart’s as heavy as its boss. Sorry folks but I refuse to curl all up and amuse you. No more laughing, no more scoffs, I’ve come to tell you no man’s lost.”

For on that day when they beat you, push you down, leave you bruised. You can rise if just you know it, turn around and make them notice. As much pain is in your chest as bad as hurt feels from this test, as much as God sounds like nonsense and as low as you feel from the rest, if you just rise and please believe – You only lose if you don’t breathe. 

– Thomas M. Watt

The Crowds

Weary achy tired mood.

Lips of others sound no good.

All this speaking of bull-shit, too much saying your thoughts I quit.

What ever happened to that one kid who said what he said and did what he did?

Where are the people who used to laugh loud because something was funny and they just messed around.

What’s wrong McWatty? Why don’t you laugh? Don’t you know cheese goes to mightiest rats?

I’ll tell you right now because I don’t jive with that. I care little for respecting big bears with big hats. I care nothing for circles who speak this and that. I like to talk about real thoughts and speak. I like to listen and help fill some needs. I like to build to grow and to share. For some tearing down I do not ever dare. 

Hello big crowd I see you’re all laughing. Sorry to say I find mighty rats nasty. As far as the bear with big hats and the claws, as far as the way social groups talk – Not down with it. Not up with it either. I’ve been on the bottom and I’ve met something deeper. You know who He is so I don’t have to say it, but one more last thing I save my laugh for later.  

– Thomas M. Watt

Various thoughts that fit Together in my Untamed Mind

Pretty girl, sitting there, gazing wide, looking fair.

I know you see it, I do too, the art from God, the voice of truth.

The problem is, you know it’s true, we’ve come from heaven with work to do.

I know my calling, know it fine, called to live my life divine.

By God who judges, He who speaks, the One who whispers my heart to sleep.

I know you want it, want it bad, knowledge of this so makes me sad.

For it’s not quite me of which you want, nor my heart, nor my cock.

But you want the dwelling bruise, the heart that aches, the lasting blues.

I’ll say it simply for some ears – the truth hurts me, the truth you fear.

For when she longs and so “Wants you,” all she wants is the pursuit.

Give her mystery, give her myth, a taste of wrong, a hint of bliss.

Her one true goal is to have you chained, but once she does, you’ve lost the game.

– Thomas M. Watt

Oh where do we begin? The rubble or our sins? – Bastille, “Pompeii”

And there I was just sitting there,

Watching fire fall from air.

Vesuvius boomed and did explode,

I sat down and prayed in pose.

Oh my Lord what have I done,

This is the end and no more fun.

God what happened why’d we leave you,

Now my city burns to ruin.

I hope to God they see some day,

I died right here, right where I pray.

– Thomas M. Watt

Conversation with an Angel

Jack pulled his hair out. He had lost everything – his house, his car, his job. Boom boom boom. Despite his enormous pain from misfortune, he lowered to his knees everyday and prayed to God almighty that He would help him out of his mess. His prayers weren’t quite Our Fathers, but strings of passionate thought which roped along slews of angry, bitter curse words.

During this time Jack grew closer to God, and could see clearly that God was involved in his life – just not giving him the things he so desired.

One day, as he was praying alone in his room, he heard a chuckle. He turned, and spotted a golden-haired angel.

Falling back at once, Jack gasped loudly and stared blankly at the sweet innocent child. “You’re… you’re… an angel!”

“Oh,” said the angel, “You can see me? I have to go!”

The angel fluttered her wings and started away, but before she could escape Jack caught her by the leg. “No! You’re not going anywhere! You’ve got some explaining to do young lady!”

The angel laughed. “You’re crazy mister. This is gonna piss God off, you know.”

“I don’t care!” Screamed Jack. “I want answers… I need ’em!”

The angel sighed. “Okay, okay. What’s your problem?”

“I lost my job, my house, my car… what’s God doing over there?”

“Well first of all, you lost your job, not God. Second of all, he’s barbecuing hot dogs and hamburgers for the great feast.”

“Don’t mess with me! I demand to know why God’s been ignoring me.”

“Ignoring you! Are you stupid? I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” began Jack, “But you aren’t doing anything.”

The angel laughed and shook her head. “So what do you want? Your job? Money? Your house?”

“Yeah!”

“Why?”

“So I can live comfortably.”

The angel smiled and shook her head. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe the road to heaven comes by prayer and devotion, and not by money?”

“So?”

“Blessed are the poor in Spirit. Do you know what that means, Jackie boy?”

“Sure.”

“What?”

“It means we’re poor here so we’re rich up there.”

The angel shook her head. “No. It means that the less you have, the more you must rely on God. The more you rely on God, the richer you become in Spirit. The richer you are in Spirit, the better things are looking for you and the big man.”

“What?”

“Judgment day.” The angel smiled, and flew away.

Jack shrugged, got on his knees, and returned to praying. Only this time, when he thanked God, he finally understood why.

– Thomas M. Watt

Wild John

We don’t get to meet Wild John until nearing the end of, “Way of the World,” but he is an intriguing character, to say the least. Michael meets John in the middle of the desert, and the stubbly-bearded man is wearing no clothes.

That’s right, he’s absolutely naked.

Michael inquires as to why, and the response strangely alludes to his connection with divine forces. Wild John goes on to say Michael is ‘from above’, to which Michael dismisses quite easily.

Obviously, being a ruthless murderer throughout his childhood makes it easy for Michael to be know that he is no angel.

Wild John leaves Michael with the curious words, “I have to make straight the way for the promise.”

Michael shrugs, and leaves the naked man with a potato sack to use for some pants.

To find out more about my novel, “Way of the World,” or to view illustrations, paintings and excerpts, feel free to check out my website at http://www.thomasmwatt.com

A Variety of Color

Through the glass comes different colors,

Some are different then the others,

There is pink and some bright blue,

along with green and orange too.

Through the glass comes sun outside,

But it still hits us at different times.

And even then the light reflects,

The different way humans express.

You see the God, the God above,

knows your heart and knows your love.

So don’t worry about fitting in,

It seems God’s window has much tint.

– Thomas M. Watt

Angry Soul

Angry bitter misfit meat,

Raging loner somber geek.

Crying loser feeling shame,

No-good doer knows his pain.

Out of type of both the classes,

Not a friend who asks what happened.

Lift your chin up little one, don’t turn your eyes down from their shun.

I know it hurts to be like you, I know it sucks to feel bad too.

Maybe there’s no one who’s true, maybe really the problem’s you.

Listen child ears on me, I promise you I won’t deceive.

When all hope’s lost and life is Hell, when all your thoughts just sound like yells,

Slow down child, slow a step, don’t try so hard to circumvent.

Take a breath and be at ease, give to God your problems please.

Confess to God your faith does break, and to speak with him makes your heart quake.

Don’t have to tuck your shirt to pants, don’t need to act like your advanced.

These days His name is divided, between believers and good liars.

The reason I push these words on you, is because God’s son was hated too.

– Thomas M. Watt

(Photo courtesy of Dan Watt, freelance astronomer. Visit his website @ http://www.pocketrubbish.com/ap/ for more amazing photos)

Tragic Heart of the True Believer

True believer how I fear,

The current trend of worldly tears.

True believer know I know,

The pain of heart few others know.

True believer know I see too,

The sights you see and things you do.

True believer be not afraid, the God of yours is not decayed.

He is there, speaking with you, He is the one whom I know too.

He is the one who answers prayers, fixes problems and always cares.

Don’t be saddened by worldly loss, the pain that comes with natural thoughts.

When your eyes open they might state, this path of yours is too much too take.

I know it’s hard and it’s not fair, when no one sees the cross you bear.

Other laugh and feel joy too, and yet you hurt to do God’s will.

Am I an idiot, is God true, am I simply out of tune?

Am I crazy, am I misled, is faith the way of just pretend?

Do not worry, do not cry. Trust the Lord, He will provide.

– Thomas M. Watt

(Photo courtesy of freelance astronomer Dan Watt. See more of his amazing photos at http://www.pocketrubbish.com)

Struggling Child – Struggle On

Worried child,

Problems tell,

Stories go with them as well.

I see your struggle, all your fears,

I see you’re worried, but comfort’s here.

Look around you to those who grow,

See how struggle’s one all know.

And those who don’t, will someday,

For sometimes struggle is delayed.

In that moment, when you are down,

do observe the sights and sounds.

See the athletes, those who win,

are those who persevere within.

What is this mind’s fear of faith,

What fall hurts too much to face?

Rise above, live with God, go on to fight with good sights sought.

I tell you this, about your push –

Lack of faith won’t make life cush.

– Thomas M. Watt

(Painting courtesy of Andrew Farmer at andrewfarmerfineart.wordpress.com)