Running Blind

For months and months been on the run,

Had myself a bit of fun.

Tore down all my truths of old,

Replaced them with some sins so bold.

In the flesh I did reside,

The more you sin the more you die.

It eases e-motional pain,

Sin enough you’ll feel no shame.

But go on you’ll find some trouble,

And when then comes your pride will double.

So sure I was of Christ’s untruth,

I laughed at Christians on youtube.

Dumb it seemed that some believed,

One man could replace our primal needs.

Sacrifice, deny yourself, worry not, you won’t see Hell.

Hahaha, haha, hehe, the things he speaks of I won’t take heed.

For I was sure that I knew better, that heavenly things were not too clever.

Dumb it was to live this life thinking one day you’ll see the light.

What light, what proof, what evidence? Where is this God that some still seek?

Nowhere, nowhere, He goes unseen, but this God of light lets blind men see.

For you see I came to truth – that evil exists, and me it used.

Day by day I could not rest, could not stop sin, did not repent.

But when I prayed my heart did open, God returned, covenant He honored.

Showed me to the days of old, when we were close and I wasn’t so cold.

Amazing how when there’s no evil, you find your own evil has doubled.

But after mocking God is through, and your world has fallen through,

And you’re sure you have no chance, that you have tripped on your last dance,

And of good feelings there’s none left, no way this life holds hope; you’re doomed.

That’s when I think it’s time to pray, and if you listen, you’ll know why I say –

That God who lives up high above, that God who you so boldly told –

That with all your heart you don’t believe, who you once deemed a mental disease,

That same God you went against, He will still be there when you’re on the fence,

And it won’t be long before you see, that God so loves you, He’s all you need.

– Thomas M. Watt

Would you kill the love of your life if…

What if the love of your life lost their mind, and their inability to show restraint during a time of crisis was putting your own life at risk?

What if a group were chasing after you, and one loud noise would give away your position and get you killed?

Would you risk hurting someone you loved to save yourself?

What if hurting them were your only option, and the future of humanity depended on YOUR survival??

James faces the same predicament in the following excerpt. To give you some context:

– James is locked in a hidden prison room.

– Zephrons are giant red aliens who invaded planet earth and enslaved whatever humans they chose not kill.

– The night of the invasion, a group of locals escaped to an underground military base. They were soon afterward indoctrinated by Colonel Fitz, who considers himself to be the new messiah. This scene takes place in that underground base.

– The zephrons are going to wipe out the rest of humanity in one day…

And James is the only person who can stop them.

* * *

CHAPTER 52

James’ stomach grumbled loudly. He hadn’t eaten a good meal since before his sentence to the picking plant. He looked around aimlessly for something edible to distract him. Nothing. Only the doggie saucer of water. He took handfuls from it, desperately hoping for the water to trick his stomach. He began weeping as he drank.

“I wanna marry you,” said Penny.

James raised his head. Penny moved in, then began licking water out from the bowl. James crawled backwards then clutched himself and began to rock. He smeared dry the tip of his nose, then looked across the room to Spes’ cell.

“Do not worry, human. It will never-”

“Never what!” James screamed. He stood up, grabbed the prison cell bars, then shook them. “What do you want me to do? My best friend is dead, my dad is dead, and tomorrow morning, every human on the surface of the earth will be dead! And here I am.” He grabbed both sides of his hair and breathed chaotically. “Stuck in a prison cell, unable to do anything about it.” He squinted back at them and pointed his index finger. “And you idiots expect me to believe that this is God’s plan? That somehow my being here is going to help me conquer the zephrons?”

“Calm down, human. God knows-”

“God knows, God knows, you know what? God knows shit. That’s what I think. If you want something done you’ve got to do it yourself, period.”

A humming noise came from outside. The door started to creak open to the corridor, and Fitz entered in. He held the ring of keys.

“Well well well, traitor.” He walked over to James with the key ring in one hand, a rifle in the other. “I get your bicep, in case you were wondering.”

“What happened to Roy? What happened to your daughter?”

“I locked Penny up for disobeying me. She was hanging around that drunk loser after I forbid her to.”
“And Roy?”

“Why don’t you ask her?”
“I did.”

“Well? Did she tell you?”

“She’s a little kooky if you haven’t noticed.”

Fitz smiled. “Roy is dead.”

“From a bullet?”
He nodded.

James lowered his head. “Suicide.”

“Not suicide.”

James looked back up.

Fitz grinned and pointed to himself. “That was all me.”
“You killed Roy?”

Just then, the ambulance sirens in the hallway began going off – the same that were triggered whenever someone stepped out from the elevator and entered the underground base. They were soon accompanied by the sounds of zephron howls. Human shrieks quickly followed.

“You led them back here!” said Fitz.

James tried to shake his head as Fitz raised his rifle.

“You led them-”

Janie ran in and tackled Fitz. The ring of keys dropped to the ground, but the rifle remained in his grasp.

“My king! My king! We have to go!”

Greg, Juan, and the other underground council members rushed in. They grabbed Fitz and carried him off his feet and out from the room, then turned towards the back end of the corridor. The keys remained in the middle of the room, unreachable by any of the now-fully exposed prisoners – the door to the secret prison had been left open. All the zephrons had to do was peak inside and James would be toast.

“Ahh!” screamed Penny.

James hurried over then hugged Penny’s face into his chest. He picked up a ratty, child-sized blanket and did his best to cover them both with it. He whispered into her ear as the loud, nightmarish yells echoed from the main room over to them.

“Penny, I need you to calm down,” he whispered.

She bit her lips into her mouth. “But what’s happening?”

The screams only intensified. So did the wild zephron howls. It was a slaughter – no doubt about it. James was nervous and scared, but knew that as long as everyone inside the secret prison area remained quiet, there was a good chance the zephrons wouldn’t bother leaving the main room. And even if they did, they were more likely to run straight past them and battle Fitz and his small army instead.

“What’s happen-”

“Don’t worry – I just need you to be quiet. Can you do that for me?” James’ eyes flickered up. He noticed the hammer in the corner of the cell. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“James!” said Penny.

“Shh,” he whispered, then covered her mouth. “Be quiet, Penny.”

Soon he heard their loud, thumping footsteps echoing through the corridor.

“Hime-cared!” She blurted out.

James hugged her face into his shoulder. “Please… just, shhh.”

Penny struggled to break free as the monstrous roars grew closer. She began to move her limbs erratically, and screamed more muffled words. James struggled to keep her quiet, but she wouldn’t be still. Penny escaped his grasp.

“James! James! Promise you’ll marry me, James!”

He could hear the zephrons closing in. James crawled on his hands and knees over to the hammer. He picked it up, then gulped and looked at Penny.

“Say you love me! Say it!”

James grabbed Penny by the throat and shoved her down, back against the ground. His hand shook as he held the hammer over her forehead.

“Shut-up,” He pleaded through a whisper.

“JAMES!” Penny screamed.

“Don’t!” said Fides, from across the room.

“JAMES!” She shouted again.

James swung the…

* * *

Well, what would you do? I’d love to hear a variety of perspectives.

* And if you’re dying to know what actually happens, you can start by clicking here.

– Thomas M. Watt

Try

Day by day by day by day,

I laze and wait then think and stay.

Time goes by until tomorrow, then comes some more with the same sorrow.

Tired of mundane depression, scared to try and face rejection…

Or regression to this same state, the ground don’t hurt it’s the fall I hate.

Up and up and up I climbed, ’till my hand slipped and then I fly’d.

Near the top, I climbed that high, but that misstep was my last try.

At first I kicked my arms and legs, reaching to grab what I once played.

And as I fell down from the sky, my eyes did struggle to not cry.

After I crashed I settled in, waiting to die, not re-begin.

I stand and think and think some more, dwell a lot on painful sores.

It hurts it hurts it hurts so bad! How can I climb when I can’t stand?

No more God, no more good doing. No more dreams, no more hope spewing. No more prayers for more good graces, no more thanksgiving, He can’t replace her. No more right track lest I go wrong again, no more rising means no descent.

I’ll just lie here until I die, thinking glumly and seeking highs. Drown my brain in lull and sleep, ease my soul with soul-less deeds.

Checkout that ass, give me that food, I’ll take a drink of scotch or booze. Some more tobacco, a cigarette, I’ll fuck that girl who I just met. Or no I’ll break her little heart, do what I can to make her depart.

Hate and hate and hate some more, destroy my body ’till it’s no more. Blind myself with thoughts of doom, end my hope till it’s no use. Joy is those who next come here, faith are those who stand real near.

How comforting it is to know, way up high, I’ll never go. Never climb that high again, never make another friend. Never fall in love with her, never mistake my own dead-end. Never one more situation, that risks the chance of escalation.

No more sadness, no more pain, just endless, constant, life-refrain. Hurt and hate and destroy some more, until with past I’ve evened the score.

But then today I looked around, and realized I’ve been here a while. And if I climb I’ll fall again, maybe ten times more than ten.

But maybe I should get up and try, before another day goes by.

Maybe pain is one example, of what you get from trying ample.

Where’s that ladder? I’ll climb that bitch, then rejoice in heaven, with those who finished.

– Thomas M. Watt

Now See the Crown

On the ground looking down endless sounds of silence abound,

Feel afraid worry’s craze mess of thoughts like dreams un-made.

Breath is weak,

heart is heavy,

craving big,

loss is steady.

Turning left, turning right, neither way presents much sight,

Look above, see that dove? the soft warm white of looking dumb?

Think again my childish friend, see it harder the way is smarter.

Reach out, pick yourself up, jump again and feel that flood –

Of hope not drowned, of ways soon found, a road to go where you’ll be crowned.

Walk that path, strut that shit, bounce that chin and act legit.

Behave, your ready, no more kidding, this road’s the one where you beat many.

– Thomas M. Watt

Let the Tree Grow

Tired sobs run through my head, nose congested feel like dread.

Tomorrow marks a big day for me, if tomorrow sparks then fire springs.

Yet right now I feel like sighing, so damn tired, so long been trying.

Can’t speak too much of things unsaid, can’t think too much just want my bed.

No more pain in sleep at night, no more turning sleepless nights.

I hope to God I move somewhere, I hope so badly that fruit will bear.

Moving on from living dreams, achieving them is the next best thing.

– Thomas M. Watt

Tragic Heart of the True Believer

True believer how I fear,

The current trend of worldly tears.

True believer know I know,

The pain of heart few others know.

True believer know I see too,

The sights you see and things you do.

True believer be not afraid, the God of yours is not decayed.

He is there, speaking with you, He is the one whom I know too.

He is the one who answers prayers, fixes problems and always cares.

Don’t be saddened by worldly loss, the pain that comes with natural thoughts.

When your eyes open they might state, this path of yours is too much too take.

I know it’s hard and it’s not fair, when no one sees the cross you bear.

Other laugh and feel joy too, and yet you hurt to do God’s will.

Am I an idiot, is God true, am I simply out of tune?

Am I crazy, am I misled, is faith the way of just pretend?

Do not worry, do not cry. Trust the Lord, He will provide.

– Thomas M. Watt

(Photo courtesy of freelance astronomer Dan Watt. See more of his amazing photos at http://www.pocketrubbish.com)

Loser loser loser you

Loser loser loser you,

If this is what they say to you,

That you can’t do it you are through,

There is nothing more that you can do.

Listen with your ear turned in,

Accept those words and share a grin,

Turn to them and say this day,

That your problems are in dismay.

For you don’t turn and look around,

You don’t make others bear a frown.

You’re the one who raises hope,

From the ugly you can cope.

For you will wake up everyday,

Work through the pain and always say,

A problem is a thing to do,

The struggle is what’s meant for you.

For from these losses which we bear,

Come ways to win in future’s air.

What is today represents the past,

And even if you’ve come in last,

Five years from now so much will change,

Will go to show the path you take.

Don’t get frightened, don’t be scared,

Don’t deny that life’s not fair.

Just go on to move ahead,

Accept your place and see who cares.

For in the future you will win,

From here the future don’t look so grim.

It looks to me like there’s an end,

It seems to me the pain runs thin,

When you begin to think in ways,

To turn your problems into change.

Reach forth higher and reach forth proud,

Let your heart beat oh-so-loud,

You’re not an idiot, not a fluke,

You’re the one who thought to do,

The things of which will dig you out,

The acts of growth like you’re devout.

You got away and passed the pain,

‘Cause you set out to change your ways.

Not from fear or worry or doubt,

But from the belief that future’s cloud,

Won’t look so grey and rainy wet,

It won’t be hazy or make you upset,

But looks to me from this horizon,

There’s no more clouds where your blue sky ends.

– Thomas M. Watt

The God of the Living

And the clock ticks

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

When the clock ticks, when the hand strikes, when the time moves, when the words fly.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Days are upon us, nights aren’t as long, work goes unfinished, albums become songs.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Light never fades, darkness subsides, the truth is unmoving, the truth is inside.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Wisdom is silent, God’s voice doth speak, teachers in school, teach what they see.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

When does the world, see truth unfold. When will the world, stop being sold.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Since the beginning, when God made His man, man has been fooled, by what’s in his hand.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

You see there’s a thing, few really know, for what is divine, is more than what’s shown.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Don’t you ask why, don’t you ask how, know God will do it, and doing abounds.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

The truth is kept secret, shouted are lies, the voice of the night, in the day we despise.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Come look around, come see for yourself – others like you still know what you’ve found.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Down with religion, down with God’s rule, is what they all chant, is what they all do.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

But there’s a problem, a big one you see – God will continue, because he hears you and me.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

What is the meaning, how can you say, what good does belief do when God’s in decay?

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Oh-hoh-ho-ho, he-he-he-he, you still must be lost, you still can’t quite see.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

You see it’s a myth, a blinding big lie, for what is of God, rules over time.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Still are in wonder? Worries surround? Fine I shall tell you, listen to the sound.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

God cannot pass, his way cannot go, He’s the God of the living, as faith surely shows.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

What is to say, how can we see? How can God live if the world rejects He?

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

How can you be lost, and not understand? Listen to me – God’s way has a plan. He is the strong one, and stronger than men. He is the true King, and He is still the end. Men cannot kill, they cannot destroy, their very creator, who makes of them toys. When you soon learn, and can know it too, you will shortly see, that God can’t be disproved. He’s made it this way, on purpose He has, to stifle the wicked, and swat them in hand. He knows of the humble, He knows of their prayers, he raises them up, in ways seen unfair. For His way is different, much different you see, God’s way is to give, and He gives unto we. Don’t be afraid, if you still do not know, just go on in faith, and God will expose. The fault is of thought, to think you must rule, the greatest mistake, is to think you must prove. God’s way on your own, the words that he spoke, that you must somehow, make wisdom glow. All you must do, and listen to me, all you must do is leave action to He. Go on in trust, of what you can’t see, go on believing, and God sets you free.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

– Thomas M. Watt

(Photo courtesy of Dan @ http://www.pocketrubbish.com/ap/)

The Walls before Us

A man with grass stains on his jeans and blisters on his hands fell down on the pavement. He hardly managed to catch himself, and even after he did, he dropped himself back down and sprawled his limbs flat to the black concrete anyways.

He remained there, lying face down, until a hand finally took hold of his. He looked up and saw the silhouette of a brown, curly head of hair.

“What do you want?” He said to her.

She chuckled. “I want to help you.”

The man used his hand as a visor to guard the intense rays of the sun, and her face finally came into view. She had thin lips, brown hair, and the sexiest hazel eyes he’d ever seen.

The man groaned as he returned to his feet. He brushed his jeans off. “Why do you want to help me? Nobody wants to help me.”

She smiled sweetly. “I want to help you because you are so close to victory and you don’t even realize it.”

The man grumbled again. “You’re outta your mind lady. I’m not close and I never was, neither.”

She laughed, and the two started walking together.

“Why can’t you see?” She said.

“What?” He returned, pressing his left eyelids nearly closed.

“Why are you so blind?”

“Blind! Lady you got no idea the problems I’m dealing with!”

She stopped him, put her hands on his shoulders, then stared directly into his eyes as she spoke. “And how many times before have you encountered a scenario you were certain could not be overcome? How many times before did you think you were finished, only to live on? Things are not as they appear. There is a way to victory, I promise you that.”

“Why? How?” He said at once.

She smiled sweetly. “Are you so lost? The why and how does not matter. What matters is that you go on in the belief that there is a way.”

The man shook his head, scoffed, then looked away. “Yeah, well… How am I supposed ta-” He began, before suddenly catching himself after looking back.

The lady was gone.

I never did a single thing in my life I didn’t at first believe could be done. And I never heard an interview where the person being questioned looked lost, out of place, and had no idea how they randomly wound up succeeding. Happy 100th post Wattie nation. When all hope is lost, place your belief in what is above finding you a way out. Watch what happens.

– Thomas M. Watt

The Man who Tried

There was once a man who didn’t give a damn,

Who tried and he tried and he tried.

The pain brought on tears and oh so many fears,

Of hopes to make his dreams come alive.

The nights all grew dark at that cold winter park,

The swing just always kept swingin’.

But he held on until blue skies at dawn,

The clouds and dreary winds all stopped sweeping.

He had no more fear about losing his years,

Didn’t give a damn about drinkin’,

Tried with his might on those lonely nights,

No time for a lesson on sleeping.

He chose the pain of hope not gone astray,

Chose to believe in the line.

Of sights less known and hopes fully grown,

Of mastering what he was thinkin’.

This man came through and found morning dew,

And summer’s sun started peakin’.

And wouldn’t you know it, the man didn’t show it,

But boy there were tears deep inside.

For his hope came to be and his dream’s destiny,

Was for his life to finally shine.

Boy yes it did, his vacated fear, his years lost to those lonely drives.

Because he fuckin’ did it, yes that man he did it, because he tried and he tried and he tried.

– Thomas M. Watt