Master and “THE ROOM” – 10/20

writer

I’m busy adding a riveting twist to the ending, one I believe will add a heavy layer of drama to this psychological thriller. Finishing this book is consuming my writing time, and keeping me from posting short stories on here. The final part to Too Perfect Marriage took me six hours to write, but I accept that. One thing I am certain of – rushed writing is cheap writing.

Though there are tricks, techniques, and structures that will greatly enhance your stories, emotion can never be artificial. If you are not feeling the anxiety, disgrace, or enchantment of your characters, neither will your readers. Consequently, it is a waste of time to churn stories out like I’m some sort of machine. What I produce will repel you.

I am on the fence about posting the opening pages of Master. Because it is only a hundred + pages, I must have a definite release date in mind. That way I can give away the right amount prior to making it available. I am reluctant only because posting the pages on here guarantees that the book will be self-published (it is greatly frowned upon by publishers to pick up a book with content already posted on the web).

Mainly because I’m immersed in finalizing Master, I haven’t put much time into taking my gaseous plan and morphing it into something solid. I haven’t queried a single publisher or agent about Master, and have yet to look into the pros/cons of pursuing that avenue. This is the first book I feel would have a chance at getting picked up, in spite of its short length. I’ve queried a terrible book before, and the process is aggravating to say the least – they tell you to wait up to 6 months to hear back, and even if someone requests and loves your full manuscript, it takes roughly a year to get that book into stores. I am, to a fault, an impulsive person.

I hate posting poor content on here, and have no intention of transitioning this blog to a shameless book promotion website. When I do launch into marketing mode, I intend to do so in unique and exciting ways. Nobody wants to buy a product that is crammed down their throats – but they might consider biting into a pitch if it’s delivered with spoonful of humanity.

On a lighter note, check out the clip below for a good laugh. It’s from a movie titled “The Room” that has been voted the worst movie ever made. It’s so godawful there’s been a bestseller written about the making of it, and get this – James Franco is making that story into a movie.

  • Thomas M. Watt

McWatty9’s Proactive Karate

Are you tired of karate being mere practice? Don’t you wish you could use your killer hand chop in real life situations, rather than waiting to get mugged or robbed? Well at McWatty9’s ‘Trae-Tu-Keel’, we teach karate in a little… different way.

You see, my philosophy for fighting originated one day when I realized random purse attacks hardly ever happen. While other facilities teach self-defense, I teach preemptive-strikes.

It works like this – imagine you’re walking down the street, and someone looks at you the wrong way. Well you just walk up and karate chop ’em! Sounds like fun, right? It is!

Here at McWatty9’s proactive karate, we teach the art of screaming ‘Hi-ya!’ every time you hit, and have such long formulas for fighting, that you will feel like you’re playing a chess match even when you are getting your ass kicked!

We don’t study ancient Japanese fighting techniques. In fact, we don’t really study anything at all. We all gather ’round with a big ol’ bowl a popcorn, and watch Jackie Chan films until the idea of fighting off a swarm of bad guys starts to seem realistic!

Then, we try to learn the moves. There’s the ladder moves, the spinning kicks, the double spin kicks, and the double double spin spins. For firm wrist strikes, I teach the one where your arm moves horizontally, and then the one where it moves from up to down.

We employ all the famous sound effects when we practice, including the, ‘Pssh!’ and the ‘Poosh!’ and, for the ladies, the, ‘Eughmph!’

That’s right folks, come on down to McWatty9’s proactive karate if you want to feel like your tough and make fighting harder than it already is.

*Any and all of these techniques will work in real life movie fighting sequences.