McWatty9 Wins Liebster Blog Award

That’s right folks, I won an award. In case you didn’t know, Liebster is a word some humans use somewhere. I am grateful to be nominated by miss Alex, you can visit her blog here –http://thebewildered20somethingwriter.wordpress.com

In receiving this nomination, I must nominate several other bloggers and throw my own questions at them. I will post that later. But for now, I am on the spot, answering Alex’s questions. Big breath. Here we go –

What inspired you to start writing/blogging?

• Well let me start out by saying I’m extremely nervous right now and can’t quite think clearly. I feel so on the spot and I know I’m making a fool of myself but the thoughts are coming fast and the hands keep typing them. Ok. Blogging? Well I wrote a book but I didn’t know any other humans so I felt a blog would be a good place to meet them. Along with humans, I am told fellow writers come here, too. Do you think I’m going to sound stupid when this gets posted?

If you could shrink any animal–real or mythical–so that it was pocket sized, what animal would you shrink and keep as a pet?

• Well first off, Alex, thanks for easing the tension. Not. But in answering your question, following that comma back there is the rest of this sentence. I would shrink a… I would… Shrink… dog?

Name three guilty pleasure books and/or movies that you’re sorry you’re not sorry you like (say that three times fast).

• So sorry not sor- wait. So sorry you’re not sorry I’m not – wait… shoot… Okay, so sorry I’m not your sorry I mean you’re… DAMN! Ok. Three guilty pleasure movies I’ve seen? Hmm…. I love Macgruber. I think it is the funniest movie I have ever seen and nobody else even likes it. Saw Jack Reacher the other day after hearing everybody whine about Tom Cruise being in it. Sorry, but that movie was awesome. Went out and bought one of the books in the series. Lee Child’s the man, by the way. Go check him out! Third? Hmm. Third. I really like… I… like… Umm… The Notebook. Why? Because when you’re asked by a girl if you have a guilty pleasure and you don’t say The Notebook you are an idiot.

If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?

• Anything but Aaron, because Aaron is a girls name.

What inspires you creatively, i.e., what gets your creative juices pumping again when you’re in a bit of a slump?

• I bash my fist into my head as hard as I can. It’s like magic.

If you knew you only had one hour before the zombie apocalypse, what would you do?

• Cover my face with dirt then start walking with my arms straight out as I mumble, “Need… to eat… brains.”

Name the weirdest/funniest/coolest/most memorable/etc. dream you’ve had.

• Oh, c’mon! Obviously a sex dream. Should I go into detail?

What advice would you give your six-year-old self?

• You might as well give up. It’s never gonna happen.

What are the five things that make you the happiest?

• I like toitles.

Star Wars or Star Trek?

• Star Wars VS. Star Trek, when they finally sack up and make it happen.

Well, that’s it folks. I would bow right now, but I’m not going to. Why? Well I don’t know why, I thought all the questions were done with.

Thanks again Alex, hope after reading this you’re not ashamed you picked me. For the rest of you, watch out, I’m going to be posting my own nominations and questions later today.

– Thomas M. Watt

Feel It Tear

Pain inside is justified,

loss of much always resides,

on the bottom,

feeling grim,

trying hard to rise and win.

So much loss too much to take,

feel my days fall down like rain.

Every time I see that tumble every time I look I crumble.

Cannot watch this sport I played,

cannot enjoy a single day,

feel so much rage in me can’t feel your touch it’s too much sting.

Why oh why oh why oh God, tried so hard and feel so scorned. Not one can see the things I do, not one can bring my arm from ruin.

Let me breath and blink and smile, let me enjoy this cough a while.

I will get up I will go on I will still try to sing good songs.

Just take this wind and fly with me, take me through these painful springs.

Let me ignore the past I hate, let me go on this life of fate.

Raise me up to blue skies please, don’t let me lose to hands of thieves.

– Thomas M. Watt

(Illustration by Ayse Juaneda, the greatest artist in the world. Visit her blog for more incredible artwork – http://aysejuaneda.wordpress.com/

The Dream is free but the Pain cost a Lifetime

Painful brush strokes imagination, is this talent or procrastination.

See the fault of others true, cannot judge my own work too.

Painful headaches modest scoff, writing words or losing thoughts.

What’s the point of point of view, when you’re the biggest fan for you.

So damn subjective so many accuse, I’m wasting time to feel the blues.

One more edit, maybe two, after that I think I’m through.

Have persisted through so much, have not yet made a single buck.

How does that one sad story go, the one where reality is always cold?

Well oh well I guess that’s it, I hope my talent is not too stink.

– Thomas M. Watt

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

The crack in the cracked glass vial in the alleyway was seeping out a strange green ooze. There was nothing natural about it.

Hamato Yoshi slid his finger along the vial and sniffed it. “Hmm.”

“Whachu got there?” Said Shredder.

“I don’t know.” Hamato shrugged. “It’s like slime.”

“I hate turtles and ninjas,” said Shredder. “And my karate master Oroku Saki wants to kill you, by the way.”

“Good to know,” responded Hamato.

The two continued on together, whistling as they walked. As they did, Tom noticed his hand began to pulsate, rhythmically at first, before soon his hand was swelling up to the size of a pillow.

“Whoa,” said Shredder, “Cowabunga dude, your hand is getting gi-normous!”

Hamato was not sharing in Shredder’s enthusiasm. “This isn’t funny, Shredder. What the heck is-” Before he could even finish what he was saying, his forearm enlarged, followed shortly afterward by a rapid growth in the rest of his body.

Moments later, Himato was literally a walking giant.

“Man!” Yelled Shredder. “I hate the artists of the renaissance, maybe that’s why my name is shredder, so I can ruin masterful paintings. Do you think?”

Hamato Yoshi set his hands on his hips and bellowed out a laughter of hilarity. “You know what I’m going to do, shredder?”

“What?” replied Shredder.

Hamato Yoshi, pinched a cheese grader between his thumb and forefinger. He slammed it into Shredder’s face, and it stuck for good. Hamato laughed all the louder. “I’m going to train my rat splinter on how to do karate, and then I’m gonna feed him that green shit, and then he’s gonna train a bunch of turtles, and then they’re all going to kick your ass. HAHAHA!”

Shredder shook his head and cried. “I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life and I’ll do whatever it takes to disrupt those turtles in their mission to do good.”

“Well they’re going to be teenagers, also.”

“So?”

“So suck-it, shredder.”

THE END!

– Thomas M. Watt