I had a post written yesterday and made 3 separate attempts to edit and upload it during the day. I was at work and we remained busy. I was just about to post it now, but after reading it I realize it was mostly the ramblings of a chaotic mind. I’ll include the bullet points because I do not feel it is worth posting.
I combed through the entire script on Monday and brought it down to 21 pages. It is a cohesive story.
My friend gave it a read. He thought it was “solid overall” but “not a page turner.” I am not okay with that.
I spent all of yesterday trying to remember if I had left the stove on. I almost left work just to check. Thankfully, my apartment is *not* in ashes.
So, the “not a page turner” thing – I really dislike that. In my experience a good story literally reels you in. You may be reading it to analyze it, but even that will be a challenge. This tells me I’ve got changes to make.
My girlfriend and I watched a movie last night. It seemed pretty low budget. Some of the actors could have been better, and I felt the writing could have focused on a few different areas. But it kept us watching, and got us to watch it in the first place. The story was based on real life events where a woman had been locked up and hidden by her own father. Nobody knew where she was for years, and she was in his basement the entire time. It’s a gut-wrenching tale – and I honestly believe that was why we became so invested in it.
There are so many devices to strengthen a story that you could fill a factory with them. But I don’t think any device can ever make the scene. My two aims for writing today are to find something extraordinary to place in my story. Something that makes you say “what the fuck?”. My second goal is to make even the ordinary interactions of my characters bursting with nostalgic emotion.
I recall reading Harry Potter as a young teenager and experiencing the Weasley family the first time. Everything was messy, the parents were yelling, the kids had a hierarchy, and everybody in that family seemed to echo an unsaid motto that always appeals to me – “We’re rich in joy not wealth.”
I’ll be at work tonight and going through my script again. I have not begun filming a video this Sunday but am still determined to publish one. My script, however, takes priority and needs to be finished.
This is my brother James, who plays Art in Mountain Cult.
Today I am going through episode 5 page by page. My goal is to establish a purpose of each individual line and delete anything and everything that does not add to the story.
My emphasis today will be on building empathy with my primary character. Common writing advice suggests to have your main character pet a dog or perform a kind gesture early on. If your audience consists of brain dead zombies who need to be told how they should feel then this is the route for you. My goal, however, is to write a story that appeals to individuals who search beneath the surface for an unsaid truth. For that reason I will use a moment of skepticism, frustration, or anti-social behavior for an emotional connection.
I return to work tomorrow for 5 days straight, so I’m going to give as much time as possible today to the script. I want to take it from 21 pages down to 15. I’m going to print it out and write in the changes I’d like to make than retype it later. This is my favorite way to edit because it makes organization much easier.
I did publish a second YouTube video yesterday that was a non short film. It took a few days of work but it has already received more views than the previous upload. My goal is to have a new video out by Sunday, and every Sunday after that. Today I get to write.
Story is one of the most complex yet simple art forms in existence. It isn’t until you attempt to tell one that you realize how difficult it is to keep an audience interested.
I often think about the natural growth of a story. The more you focus on a single character and dramatic incident the more clear and concise your story will be. At our core we turn to story to learn about the world around us. Despite the human mind having the ability to understand great complexities and details, it will always require extra effort to do so – effort your audience isn’t looking to produce when they are seeking to be entertained. The more your story is packaged in a centralized question the more digestible your story will be.
My favorite thing about screenwriting has been the impact and significance required for each line. There is no place for waste, laziness, or meaningless repetition. Because screenwriting requires more dialogue than description, I have a bad habit of “hearing the conversation” and writing according to how I imagine it might play out. This isn’t a fundamental error, as it improves the natural flow, but it becomes easy for a character to repeat themselves and shine a spotlight on their personality rather than the problem that is being overcome. Furthermore, the natural progression of a conversation does not incorporate any character change or overwhelming obstacles. The most memorable and impactful moments of any story are the actions your character performs that betray what their former self would do. How common is it for a parent to be petrified of their child drinking, smoking, or using drugs? Yet the origin of that fear often comes from knowledge of our their own experience and how it affected their lives. That is a character change.
I do feel our most fascinating ideas and concepts should always reserve page space in what we write. One of the most entertaining shows of the last 20 years is South Park. It is easy to watch this show, enjoy it, and feel it is nothing more than an escape from the pressures of the world. But in reality South Park incorporates a 3 act structure, a climax, and a theme. One item that differentiates South Park from other comedies that fail to hold our attention is the constant comedic gems. Family guy, on the other hand, is all comedic gems with no importance given to the story. I am convinced each episode of South Park is guided by an absurdist idea that brings the writers to crack up laughing. They know their idea is hilarious and find a way to make it a staple that falls within the necessity of the story requirements.
I feel there are far too many suspense, mystery, and action stories that stray so close to plot points that they lose sight of what keeps viewers interested in the first place. Your audience will never be a soulless academic who marks off a story-checklist with each page that they turn. You’ve got to include the good stuff that makes your audience uncertain about how they would handle a similar situation. Such is the conflict that produces an intriguing premise.
On top of writing this morning, I am hoping to record the content for another YouTube video. I return to work tonight and will be preoccupied with the daily grind for the following week and a half. I am eager to make the major changes to my script today in order to begin casting the roles and finding my locations. Enjoy your own daily pursuit and make the most of the hours you have been given.
Today I have the apartment to myself and no work obligations.
I completed my first non short film style YouTube video yesterday and posted it. It doesn’t have many views, though I wasn’t really expecting it to. I have been hosting online meetup zoom meetings for the past 2 months every Sunday. It has been an awesome experience to see the same faces show up regularly. We have also had new members stop by each week. The plan was simple – host an informal, low pressure event routinely and allow the attendance to grow naturally. So far, it has worked.
I’m going to apply the same methodology to my short YouTube videos. I will regularly update my progress on Episode 5 and discuss whatever part of the process I am currently developing. I intend to build a gradual increase in viewership from posting consistently. If I were still writing novels rather than screenplays I would do the same thing. It’s an easy and low cost way to grow your following.
This does, however, increase my overall workload. My friend suggested a while back that I create a schedule for production and stick to it. I haven’t been able to generate that timetable because I’m still stuck in the writing process. I do feel that a good script cannot be rushed – creativity is not something we control, it is something we express.
So this fine March day I have the place to myself and can sit down and work through some of the major bugs in my script. I may completely rewrite the opening scene with a centralized focus on the plot’s greater mystery. Rewriting my opening scene would be ironic considering the current scene was the object of discussion in my last YouTube upload. I would also like to learn more about crowdfunding platforms such as Patreon, Twitch, Indie gogo, and paypal (general). It would be wise for me to find a way to make items from the show available for sale.
Anyway, I hope you have a fine day doing what you love, or at least figure out a way to pretend to love doing that which you are forced to do.
I’ve completed my first “Youtube Update” which is featured above. The video is relatively simple and low effort, but that’s sort of the idea – to pour the majority of my free time into Episode 5 while regularly featuring updates on the development of it.
I put a lot of thought into how I wanted to portray myself for my ultimate goal. I wanted to make the video entertaining while still remaining focused on keeping the actual content meaningful. I did this by featuring somewhat humorous drawings to demonstrate the events unfolding in the scene I describe.
I feel it’s important to treat the work I’m doing seriously because of the genre the film will fall into. If I develop an audience that is only seeking a short laugh then they will not care about the actual content I am trying to produce. But if I focus entirely on the filmmaking process I will not be growing an audience for Episode 5’s release. Simply put, I’m aiming for a balance between entertainment and informational.
Without a doubt I could have improved the quality of the video, but that would have cut into the time I can devote toward episode 5’s actual production. Check it out above if you’d like.
The Group Scene/The Dinner Scene/Friends at a table. They each are a variation of the same thing:
4-5 main characters gather at a table and share in a discussion.
Simple, right? Not for a writer. It’s not the complexity of maintaining each character, nor is it the task of inventing an interesting dialogue. The difficulty lies in moving the plot along, building tension, and producing a character change.
Episode 5 currently runs 27 pages (which will translate to roughly 27 minutes). Out of those pages, 19 of them involve a group discussion that takes place at a table. My goal is to condense those 27 pages to 8 and incorporate a riveting midpoint at page 4.
What makes the group discussion unique is that people don’t generally sit around and think up ways to murder each other, as much as we all want to see that. There is not a natural clock with imminent danger when your characters are sitting down and sharing information. And my main character isn’t much of an actionable detective if the other characters he’s sitting with are freely offering up there own personal backgrounds and clues.
One of the best ways to orchestrate a group scene is to implement a relationship triangle. Person A likes B, but B likes C, and C likes A. The more you can entangle the relationships to affect one another the more intrigue you generate. But because my story is not a drama nor a romance, I have to find a way to introduce more tension, higher stakes, and hard-turning plot points – especially since the meat of the episode takes place in a seated arrangement.
Allow me to do some thinking out loud for a moment. I’ll create a dynamic similar to my own and see what areas of conflict and tension we can artificially introduce.
Bob attends a dinner with 4 new people. He was not invited but lied his way into the group. After being welcomed in, the group leader repeatedly challenges Bob to prove his allegiance to the group by taking a shot every time he speaks out of turn. Bob is trying to identify which group member stole his cat.
We see the obstacle – acceptance – and know the objective – information.
Now imagine that out of those 4 new people, Theo is the leader. Theo governs the group with an iron fist – one that Bree feels is too tight. Geronimo – the funny guy in the group – has a secret crush on Bree. When Bob joins the group, Geronimo worries that she will like Bob instead. Kazinski, on the other hand, is obedient to Theo. He believes that Theo’s adherence to group formalities unifies them and makes him deserving of being in charge.
There lives have become more intertwined and more unique. Though this may be hard to follow, it provides a writer with varying character motivations. These motivations will drive each character’s unique reaction to different events.
But we need character actions – what can Bob do to drive the story forward, and what obstacles may he find in his path?
The obvious one is for Bob to be reprimanded each time he speaks out of turn.
What interesting events can follow this? What areas do we have to tighten the conflict and elevate the tension?
Perhaps Bree repeatedly encourages Bob to not respect Theo’s wishes. Perhaps Bob realizes that the only way his cat will come up in the conversation is if he initiates it.
That does add a sprinkle of the conflict and tension, but not a whole lot. Now let’s imagine that each time Bob speaks the group becomes more convinced that he has another purpose for being there. Once this piece of psychological danger is introduced we find a true obstacle to Bob’s objective.
Maybe one of the group members secretly discovers the reason that Bob is there before the others – and tries to notify them covertly. You would be wise to let the viewers in on this secret first to create more suspense.
The tension can escalate by dangling the truth right in front of Bob. How can we put Bob’s cat on the table for him to grab while preventing him from doing so? However we do it, I think this should be the midpoint.
I think Bob should find out that his cat is more happy with its new owner. That creates an internal conflict by allowing Bob to feel guilty and doubt the ethics of his quest – until at the ending when he reunites with his cat he learns he was intentionally mislead.
One way we can place the cat right on the table would be by producing a picture of the animal from an unspecified source. Maybe everyone in the group starts chatting about it and sharing inside information. Maybe they call the cat dumb and insult it in order to instigate Bob into exposing his true intentions.
What action can Bob take to definitively know which group member stole his cat? Once convinced of who its owner might be, Bob may use the individuals want/need to his advantage. Bob can also use blunt force trauma as a method to get a confession. Or he can trick one of his new “friends” into spilling the beans by dangling his own truth – his reason for being there – right in front of them.
Perhaps Bob informs the group that he had deceived them about his intentions within the group. He can say that he purchases missing cats in order to resell them to their original owner. When he tells them that he is offering $500 with no questions asked for the cat in the picture, he finally gets one of them to fess up to their crime. After that he must choose how to punish the individual and still receive the feline for a climactic ending.
So this is the group scene. Nothing about it is inherently interesting, but it is a high-frequency event in most stories. You should never write a scene that does not incorporate multiple story elements just because it “sounds real.” You should always introduce dialogue and actions that divide your group while also gluing them closer together.
I will be tinkering with my own group scene today and just by writing this I have found some new ideas. I think it is a fun challenge anytime you beef up a scene that you have already written. Hopefully this has provided you with your own ideas for how you would like your own group scene to evolve.
I’ve finally received my first feedback regarding episode 5. Pat, one of the members of my meetup group who has been a regular at our weekly zoom meetings, was kind enough to read the script and provide feedback.
She felt it would be easier to communicate over zoom and boy I am happy to have done so. Though she proclaims that she is “not a writer,” her feedback was more helpful than any I have received in the past.
We went through script event by event and discussed the different issues she had and items she liked. We deconstructed the climax and worked together to find a better one. She dissected the opening and explained why my main character was a dick. It was awesome.
I’ve spoken on here before about how I feel we are limited in our creativity by the mechanics of our brains. I am logical minded so I that every action my character takes winds up being motivated by practicality rather than true empathy. I’ll provide an example from my story to show how she opened my eyes.
Episode 5 begins with a memory:
My main character, Ryan O’Hara, is at home dealing with a plateful of bills at the kitchen table. He is on the phone trying to finalize a major sale, presumably to help himself out of debt. His wife, Melanie, enters in the background. She is armed with a gun staring out the window blinds. Ryan is forced to end his phone call prematurely in order to calm her down. When she tells him that “they are coming after me” he treats her with apathy and returns to his phone call. He wakes up from the memory with a sense of regret.
In my mind this was an effective scene. It included a sense of suspense with Melanie holding a gun. There was a sense of irony in Ryan failing to take his wife seriously when he returns to the present day and suffers the same anguish by others not believing him about the mysterious cult. I was ok with Ryan choosing business over love because it amplified the guilt he felt by failing to be a caring partner.
But Pat saw things differently. When she read the script, she never got a reason to care about Melanie. Melanie seemed like a crazy person that Ryan was merely putting up with and not loving towards. Further, there was no indication that Ryan even cared about her. She felt it would be more effective to have Ryan tend to his patient’s discomfort and allow his phone to ring in the background.
I would still like to work in Ryan’s regret over not having been a better husband, but if I have to choose I’d rather make him more likable. I feel strongly that the first scene of any story either reels you in or pushes you away. If I can provide a character that audiences relate to and empathize with they will stick around for the ride. Furthermore, my opening scene in Episode 4 portrayed Ryan as self-centered, singularly focused prick. It worked for my character arc and internal change at the climax, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t turn viewers off and cause them to stop watching a minute or two into it.
I have also had the lead actress read the script and she will be providing her feedback this afternoon. I am excited to hear what she has to say and discover whether she came across some of the same issues.
It takes patience to complete a script to satisfaction, but it is worth it. Everything that occurs regarding the actors, props, events and location are born out of the story that is created. Producing 4k video with high quality audio, an emotionally moving score, and flawless special effects will always add to the quality of the story you are trying to tell. But at the end of the day we remember how stories moved us, not how great it all looked.
On the positive side of my conversation with Pat, she felt that the story was captivating and the ending packed a punch. The answer to the riddle was a shock to her and had strong payoff. I am very pleased to learn the bulk of my story will work. There are several items we still plan to discuss later this week, but overall I am excited and grateful about the feedback I have already received.
Ivan Kulikov, 1904, Oil on canvas, Gemäldegalerie der Stadt Murom
I am plagued by an unusual curse in life that to a large extent has limited my efficiency of output in my journey of story. During each occasion that I apply processes and habits that are tantamount to purposeful action and positive results I am bombarded with imagery and memories from my formerly successful past – my dreams morph into the passion of my youth. It isn’t until my eyes creep open that I must self-inflict a painful reminder that my former dream is now dead and the passion I once had is a crop that can only grow but never produce. This cycle is debilitating, anguishing, and demoralizing. The common solution to this problem is to engage in behaviors that will distract the mind – behaviors that do not hammer a single nail in the foundation of success.
But tonight I stumbled on a realization.
The successful behaviors I employ today run along the same wires that propelled me to perpetual improvement during my youth. It seems that running current through the “success” channels of my brain may be what is prompting the vivid memories that I’ve spent so much effort to contain to the past.
Successful behaviors will produce the desirable result across different fields of application.
Our tendency to produce work that passes our highest degree of scrutiny will dictate the quality of our artwork. The determination to shape each plot point to its proper timeline, each character change to its newfound obstacle, each word to its speaker, and each action to its motivator will all work in tandem to deliver a story that resonates with the viewer. The same characteristics of tedious effort carry over to music, to painting, to family, and to life.
Now what if in God’s hands we are no different than one of our works? What if our ability to shape our thoughts and actions toward unrelenting focus on a singular goal is what enables Him to make us that artist we seek to become? Perhaps by undertaking the same processes, disciplines, and habits we know are required to deliver masterful compositions we are enabling ourselves to be shaped into a master of compositions.
I’m sure these connections may be obvious to most, and to others unconnected, and to still others uninspired by any deity, but to me this has been a light-bulb revelation.
I find it ironic that my previous post was making a mockery of the need for an exemplary script prior to moving toward production. I have spent the past 2 days ceaselessly sharpening my story to the point that it will puncture the mind of the viewer. Despite the likelihood it will not achieve any great recognition even when it has been completed, that is not going to stop me from trying.
The composing of art to the highest level of personal achievement is both fulfilling and self-developmental. Any artist on the bottom is not creating to be heard, recognized, or profitable. We are creating because every object of creation competes with every other object of creation. Each individual has the right to compose their piece with a masterful stroke of brilliance should they reach high enough to grab it. The ability to acquire these skills is a God-given right, and for me that is a most tremendous blessing.
I was able to clean episode 5 up yesterday and officially have a full story. Today is my day to write so I plan on touching it up before sending it out for feedback. Once it receives the official “it’s ok” seal of approval I’ll be ready to advance toward actual production.
One aspect of screenwriting that I enjoy much more than novel writing is the prevalence of dialogue on each white page. Expressing the inner monologues of characters is not an option for screenwriting (unless, you know, it’s told that way). This makes the motivation of the characters to be more important and difficult to portray.
I like dialogue heavy scripts because I can easily access scenes from the vantage point of each character. I start with my main character and progress through each scene as if I’m standing in his shoes. I judge his reactions, feelings, and lack of response by how I would respond in that same situation. Each character we sculpt as writers is an aspect of our own personalities. I always try to frame a character by a specific theme that drives them. Ryan, my main character, is always driven by his gut instinct. He acts on intuition above all else.
Another benefit about reading through your story this way is that it allows you to find opportunities for conflict that you may not have seen previously. As I proceed through the story I frequently ask “what’s the worst thing that could possibly happen here?” It can be a challenge at times to help your character discover a way out of a tricky situation, but that will make for fulfilling entertainment. It will also determine who your character is in the eyes of your viewer/reader. Character always reveals itself when facing a difficult decision under pressure:
Imagine there’s a gun to your head. The person holding it tells you that you must choose between giving him your wallet or beating a nearby pedestrian down until they handover theirs. The ethical and moral conflicts provide intrigue, the decision you make will define you (in the eyes of others).
I have another zoom meeting today with the meetup groups I’ve formed in the area. I’m looking forward to it, though I have to be honest I am exhausted and rapidly declining. Nevertheless I have discovered that maintaining a sense of community helps me stay focused on my goals along with my dreams and ambitions. Enjoy your Sunday.
Just finished my 4th 12-hour day in a row at work, and tonight will be my last (until next week). I am happy to say I’ve found time when I’m off duty to edit and improve the script – though there is work to be done. If I have a readable version done by tomorrow I can get some eyes on it and take steps toward production.
The show primarily falls into the suspense category. It is about a man chasing down a mysterious group in order to find his wife. It revolves around the questions:
1.) What happened to her?
2.) What is the cult about?
3.) Is the main character losing his grip on reality?
Because it falls within the genre of suspense, the main emotions I want to evoke from the viewer are: Uncertainty, urgency, psychological danger, and thirst for more information. Each episode varies to some extent in which subgenre it may fall under, whether it is action, thriller, or mystery.
I talk often on here about my desire to infuse more emotional chaos in the scenes that I write. Much like a partner with bipolar disorder, the more emotional variety that occurs within a scene the more your viewer/reader will find themselves invested in the events – ESPECIALLY if they a) relate to the main character and b) that character is the one experiencing the roller coaster of feelings.
Some of the trouble I’m currently having with the script are due to my inability to unify these two objectives. I have a scene written that starts as a therapy session and transforms into something more dangerous and bizarre. Initially the man leading the session, Dr. Howard, was warm, welcoming, and prideful. The meeting felt like a relaxed meet-and-greet where my main character (Ryan) sits and listens to each speaker as he tries to narrow down his primary suspect.
As I reread the story I realized the stakes were way too low, the urgency non-existent, and the threat of imminent danger about as worrisome as a breakfast taco from the local gas station.
So I began approaching the therapy session from a new perspective. I added a timer mechanism by including a spinning wheel that selects the next speaker. I incorporated unanimous suspicion that Ryan was not the person he was pretending to be. I provided threats that he would not leave if he were lying about his identity. And I included a mysterious punishment involving the placement of closed boxes in front of him for every wrong response. The same small boxes cause another group member a hysterical freak out.
I am happy with these changes. They are here to stay because I can already feel scene’s importance and tension being elevated.
But here’s my predicament – how do I include chaos of emotion while still using these plot toys to raise the stakes? The more I elevate the stakes, the greater the suspense (which is the point). However, the greater the suspense, the less room there is for my character to experience joy, sadness, love, excitement, and empathy within the confines of the scene.
I currently think my solution to this problem will be to have Ryan swiftly moving in and out of unease. I can do this by developing Dr. Howard into an untrusted, and unpredictable group leader. Instead of having him threaten Ryan directly, his threat may be interpreted as passive aggresive suggestions or perhaps the (overly used and permanently cliche) false sarcasm. I could also split Dr. Howard into 2 separate characters so that there is a kind side and a wrathful one.
I desperately want this scene to feel vibrant with emotion while still satisfying the anticipated experience of a suspense/mystery story. At least it must start off that way in order for the transition to a more intense environment to have a fulfilling pay off.
These are just my current thoughts and speculation. Tomorrow I will have a full day to write with privacy. After I get some rest this morning I will write and edit today as well.
Hope everything is going well and you enjoy pursuing your passion this fine weekend.
Thomas M. Watt 